It's almost the first weekend in March, and for me, that means it is about to be one of the happiest weekends of my entire year! Why, you ask? Because this weekend, a flock of over 100 women who are all parenting kiddos from hard places, who all GET me, who all SEE me, who don't judge me or my kids and who are as equally excited to connect with me as I am with them, are descending upon Orlando. I am a member of a non-profit group that supports parents who are raising kiddos with trauma backgrounds, and this retreat is the event that the whole year centers around for that group. The weekend provides much-needed rest, recovery, learning and recharging for me, and lots of other moms. This is my fourth year attending and by now I have many, many friends at this retreat and I'm excited to hug each of them, but I am the MOST excited, to see my Hippos. Not these:
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| Though they are SUPER cute! |
My Hippos. See, last year, by some sort of magical happenstance, I ended up sharing a house at our retreat with 11 of the most amazing, beautiful, wonderful women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. We had an awesome weekend together, bonding, relating and laughing... a LOT. When the weekend was over, I know that we all needed each other, or at least, I needed them, so I started a FaceBook group just for us, and the rest is history. We have spent the last year supporting one another, loving one another, and patching up one another's wounds. We have been through breakups, breakdowns, new kiddos, kiddos leaving home, milestones and momentous occasions of all kinds. We mostly talk through FaceBook, which may seem impersonal, but to us, it is deeply, deeply personal. Sometimes the only lifeline I have is these ladies. Sometimes I have a day where Jay is at work, one kid is melting down and destroying the house, and the other is angry at me and the world and cannot be consoled. I feel like an awful mother and yet there, on the other end of a post, or a chat, or a text.... there's a fellow mom... a ROCKSTAR mom... who thinks I'm doing a good job. She gets what I'm going through. She's supportive, but can also tenderly teach me how to be even better. She's one of 11 different women, each with different stories, but with all the same loving hearts. Some of us don't even really know each other very well, truth be told, yet there's a kinship about us that transcends acquaintanceship. It's sisterhood. And I am beyond lucky to have found it.
One thing I always felt like my life was lacking was strong female friendships. Perhaps it's because when we are younger, women are trained to NOT trust one another, to not even like one another really. Perhaps it's the younger version of me constantly needing to compare myself to other women and always feeling like I came up short. Either way, I didn't have many female friends in my 20's and early 30's. Yes, I have a few friends who have been in my life for a long time, but life has a way of pulling you away from one another with schedules and lifestyles. Add to that being the mom of kids that come from challenging backgrounds, and I'm on a WHOLE different level from most women I know. This life is hard to relate to. It's hard to tolerate. Most other women don't want to be around a friend who constantly has to cancel plans due to sensory meltdowns or behavioral issues, or whose kid can be difficult to be around sometimes due to their needs. I get that. Parenting kids with trauma is isolating and lonely, but somehow I am lucky enough to have these incredible women supporting and encouraging me. And not just them, I have been fortunate enough that I have found several female friends, outside of my Hippos, with whom I have bonded and found a deep connection in the past couple of years. Each of them accepts me and my family and loves us, even though they may not be able to relate, and I appreciate them just as much as I do my Hippos.
I cannot wait for this weekend! I need some Hippo hugs and some time with my ladies and ALL the ladies at the retreat. I need a recharge and a reset. Each year, I come back to The Hubs and my kiddos a better mom and a better wife. These women... these amazing women... make me the best version of me. And I wish for every woman on the planet to find their own Hippos, too.
Oh wait... I never explained why I am calling them "Hippos". Haha.... weird. Ok, well the actual reason is because last year's retreat had a Wonder Woman theme and our house was called the Hippolyta Heroines, but since none of us could remember that, we kept calling our house, "the Hippo house", and the name stuck. But it's a fitting name anyway, since hippos look sweet, slow and docile, but when it comes to protecting their home and their family, hippos are one of the most dangerous creatures on Earth. Mamma Hippo will cut a bitch if need be. I can relate.
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