I'm Coming Out...

     .....no, not THAT way. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it's all a spectrum anyway, but that's not where I'm going with this. I'm coming out as the writer of this blog. I've decided that it's time to start sharing with other people out there in this strangely cyber-connected, yet isolating and disconnected world that we live in. Not because what I write is phenomenal, mind-blowing wisdom that the world will beg to have bestowed upon them, (I mean... it is...), but because 1.) I'm ready to increase some accountability on myself. Make myself more visible to my friends and family, and therefore, maybe hold myself to a higher standard of writing, sharing and committing. And 2.) I know for a fact that there are other women that go through things that I go through, who live similar lifestyles and have similar circumstances and can relate to and connect with what I'm saying. And that's really all each of us craves in life, isn't it? Connection. Acceptance. The affirmation that we are not the sole weirdo having our weird thoughts. So I figure, if I can bring that to just one person, it's worth sharing my life with the world.

     So, for those of you who are new here, welcome to my corner of the world and the underside of my random thoughts in my brain. If you know me personally, you know that I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a Disney fanatic, an occasional writer, a sarcastic weirdo, and let's call it what it is, a chubby chick. But like all women, all people, I am much more than that. There are parts of me that even I have yet to discover and I'm really starting to like that about myself. This April, I will turn 40 and it seems like an appropriate time to reflect back on where I have been and to dream about where I am headed. I've been on a bit of a "life quest", if you will, for the past six months or so, which you are welcomed to go back and read about in my very first post, and I already feel like I am a much better person for it. Not because I am thinner, or healthier, or anything other than more accepting of myself and, to quote Ashlee Simpson's pre-recorded SNL track, all the "pieces of me".

     That being said, I am thinner. 40 lbs down in fact! Which is awesome, yet I managed to turn it into a disappointment in myself. If you've been reading along, you know that I lost the 40 pounds pretty quickly, within a couple of months of starting this blog. I had hoped that by now I would be down even more, BUT riiiiiight as I was getting angry at myself for not making much of an effort over the past few months to lose more weight, I said to myself, "Hey, Ding-Dong.... you maintained a 40-pound weight loss without much effort. THAT'S a friggin accomplishment!" So I'm trying to go with that, ya know? See? I'm learning!

     I do feel healthier. I do feel happier. I do feel better, overall, so there's no downside here. I took a hiatus from blogging because I was feeling bad about my lack of forward motion, but I need to keep learning the lesson that our progress and success in life isn't always a linear thing. Sometimes we make a big ol' loop back into shitty before we rocket forward. All I did was slow down a bit. But I'm still here, still sarcastic, and still trying to find my big ol' shiny Jenn-light that burns so bright.

Oh and I have a new dog who makes me SO happy!