Hey, ya'll!
I'm just doing a quick check-in. I'm still doing well, but I gotta admit, I've had my first couple of days of backsliding. Nothing major, just overindulging a bite here and a bite there. Oh, and there's goddamn Halloween candy in the house. We took the kids to an early trick-or-treating event at Disney Springs and they got a pretty good haul, goddamnit.
In case you can't tell, my mood hasn't been great lately. We are struggling financially and that always stresses me out to no end. We've had a crazy schedule as The Hubs starts his new job and my kiddos are struggling with new meds, new therapies, etc. I'm stressed, and feeling yucky about myself. The funny thing is, when I attacked the Halloween candy and found myself looking down at 4 mini-Twix wrappers in the trash, I felt relieved. Like, 'Oh, there I am! There's the girl that doesn't matter much and is ok with being a slob.' I know, I know... it's a horrible thing to think and feel, but I'm just being truthful here. Don't worry... I delivered a swift kick to that chick's butt and pointed out that we DO matter, and told her to get the hell back on board or get out.
I am now down 28 pounds, so I'm not doing terribly... just slowed down some. I have made the commitment to myself to get back to tracking my intake in the Lose It app more carefully, (which I have admittedly gotten sloppy about), and have told The Hubs that I really, really need to get that damn elliptical in the house so that when the mood strikes me to get off my ass, I have a way to do so, while still staying within arms reach of my sometimes destructive 6-year-old.
I guess my lesson from this week is that I'm human, and I can forgive myself for being one, withOUT self-destructing. This is a new concept for me. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm locating that missing big-bright-shiny-Jenn-light, one ray at a time, even when I sometimes try to cover it back up.
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